~Do you believe in love at first sight?

  

Perspective is a mighty powerful word! We can look at the most common things; the most usual things; and find beauty where we least expect it.

How many of us believe that true love can occur the moment a man and a women lay eyes on each other. “Love at first sight” is an emotional impossibility because you cannot love someone you dont even know. You have simply been drawn to the package in which they live. I once perceived myself falling in love at first sight but upon some time alone and self reflection i realized my PERSPECTIVE was way off.

A lifelong emotional attachment is much more than a romantic feeling. Its more than a sexual attraction or the thrill of the chase or to get married. Ive learned that these feelings usually indicate infactuation and tend to be temporary and rather selfish in nature. A person may say “This is so wonderful; it must be love”! Notice that those who say this arent talking about the other person but themselves. Theyre excited about their own gratification. Such people havent fallen in love with someone else but fallen in love with LOVE.

Genuine love is not something one “falls” into, as though we are tumbling into a ditch. We cant love an unknown object, regardless of how beautiful or handsome it is. Only when a person begins to develop a deep appreciation and admiration for another; and intense awareness of his or her needs, strengths, and character, has one begun to experienced true love. From there, it should grow for a lifetime.

1 John 4:7
Love is of God

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First week-ish in Boston (things I’ve noticed and learned

Drew Nelson

Here are some things I’ve learned, noticed, and experienced since I got to Boston (in no particular order!).

The city of Boston is incredible.

The T is the only real way to get around. AKA subway

Crosswalks don’t matter (just like downtown Columbus)

Tons of beautiful buildings and architecture.

It is rare to meet someone with a Boston accent. In fact, most people you will meet in the city aren’t originally from Boston. Lots of tourists.

The people are genuine. They aren’t going to put on a fake smile.

Despite stereotypes, people aren’t cold and rude. Most people are nice, but you have to earn their trust. Also, people are willing to talk about spiritual matters.

Meeting someone with a Phd or high level of education is commonplace.

Social justice issues are huge. Abortion isn’t a big deal here, but gay marriage is for a completely different reason.

There is…

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Men are waffles and women are spaghetti~

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I’ve weathered the ups and downs of relationships. The things i’ve learned about what not to do could fill volumes. Trial and error is a great teacher. I feel like i’ve been schooled in this over and over. Maybe what i’ve been through can help someone from making the same mistakes. So i will be blogging about men, women, and relationships for a bit. The thing i want to talk about tonight are the difference between what is in a woman’s mind versus a man’s mind. Believe me, the differences are astounding. This is a huge lesson i’ve learned recently. “You better check yourself before you wreck yourself”.

Im the first to admit i can be a bit emotional. Things fly out of my mouth that i don’t mean. I’ve learned that guys almost always know what they think at any given moment. Women are not wired that way. We can totally think we know something one minute and then  we are absolutely positive we think something completely different an hour later. It isn’t easy living with a brain that does this. Women, we need to give ourselves a time out when we get super overwhelmed in the moment. If your brain is feeling scrambled like mine does at times, just stop! If you find yourself in the midst of an heated argument, especially when the argument becomes about something totally different than you were trying to express, stop, take a moment, and think things through. Seal the dam. Shut your mouth. Don’t wreck yourself. Walk away.When an argument takes on a life of it’s own and becomes destructive, cut it off at the pass.

I have found that we, as women want instant results. We spew off at the mouth. When we over react, it always leads to regret. We tend to throw everything that bothers us into one argument. Most, if not all of the time, ladies it has nothing to do with what we are talking about.  Ive learned that overreacting and spewing all these things at the guys can feel like bullets or missels right to the heart. They have no idea where it’s all coming from. When we are upset we tend to exaggerate and totally believe it at the time. This will make your partner think you’ve been thinking these things the whole time when in reality you have not.  This can cause resentment and distrust, even though you haven’t felt this way the whole time, you only thought it some of the time.  Later, when you calm down you are going to wish it never happened. .

We tend to blame our partner for our insecurities. I know my insecurities come from a place deep inside me. Either, i don’t feel loved enough. I don’t feel secure in myself. When communication comes to a halt, we begin to question ourselves and what we did wrong.  We may feel like we aren’t getting the attention we once did from our partner. Instead of holding it all in then exploding, just tell your partner about your insecurities. That might be all you need to say. Communication is the number one key to a successful relationship. When we shut down and start assuming. You’re headed down a very slippery slope.  You might just find he has been feeling insecure as well. i can’t stress enough how important healthy communication is.

If at all possible, avoid a fight.  Be truthful with yourself and your partner about who you are, and if what you really seek is connection, reach out gently and honestly and ask for it. Ladies, we know that every month it’s the same. We turn irrational, become psychotic, pick fights, and are impossible to please and it happens like clockwork, but somehow completely takes us by surprise, like it’s the first time we’ve experienced pms. When we ladies have PMS, our brains will be saying “don’t say it, don’t say it” but we hear ourselves saying it. Men don’t understand that having PMS means we totally lose control. If you do have PMS that makes you irrational, we need to have a plan. The minute you feel like your losing control, run to your predetermined default mode. Remember, you cannot trust yourself at the moment and will regret many things a week later. Do not make important relationship decisions during PMS. Take care of yourself during this time. Get plenty of rest, drink lots of water, avoid alcohol, avoid sugar and fried foods. Go get a massage, go for a walk, Do your best to ride out the mood swings without doing anything too damaging to your relationship. It stinks that we ladies have to deal with this, and not all ladies have it like i do. Just remember, we will be back to normal next week.

Men are simple and pretty easy to understand if you know what they’re about. Woman are crazy and impossible to understand but if you men know that, then you can accept it in the woman you love. Neither one of us is better or worse, But very different. If we learn to come together and understand one another, we can make the best of it.

Let my mistakes be wisdom for your future. Check back soon. Ill be sharing more of my heart on relationships and advice from my mistakes. Take care and be blessed.

Matters of the heart~

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The heart is the bodies engine room, responsible for pumping life sustaining blood to every blood vessel throughout the body. It keeps the body freshly supplied with nutrients and oxygen, while clearing away harmful waste matter. Our heart is essential to life.

The heart also has a very important job. “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the well spring of life. Proverbs 4:23

We have come to believe the mistaken notion that if we acquire certain things we can be truly happy and secure. As a result, we develop our own agendas of what will make us happy or have success. This mindset is the world system. As a christian, we may have rejected some or a lot of these notions. But the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked, and because we are all so easily influenced by the world around us, our hearts need guarding. The bible teaches us that the real issues of life are spiritual and are really matters of the heart, our inner man. Maybe thats why the word “heart” is found so many times in the bible. When we use the word heart in a metaphor, it is related to the mind, the emotions, the will, to the sinful nature, the inner man or simply the person as a whole. The multiple uses of the heart along with the way its used strongly focuses our attention on the importance of our spiritual life. The heart is central  and vital to our existence. God looks at and searches our heart, the inner person. The heart is so important because the issues of life flow from it. Our actions, our works, our pursuits all proceed from the heart.

God has been taking me on a journey of my heart. He has, through circumstances and hurts opened my eyes to see. Our hearts are so fragile. We keep things so locked up. We have scars so deep that we promise we will never open our hearts again. We have locked ourselves up in a prison that only we have the key to unlock. People look at the outward appearance but god looks at our heart. Our walk with God is always a matter of the heart. If the inside of the cup is clean so will be the outside. How do we go about cleansing our heart? The holy spirit will minister to our heart, the truth of Gods word.

As for me, pain as caused me to take a good hard look at my heart and i hated what i saw. The trials and the testings of life allow us to see what is really on the inside.  The ministry of others is also a tool to show the intent of our heart. Proverbs 27:17 says “as iron sharpens iron”.  Ive had the pleasure of spending time with some iron for the past three months and  became aware of what the true intent of my heart has been. It has caused me to take personal diligence in honestly dealing with my heart. For that i will be forever grateful. Since the heart is so important to what we say, think, and do we all need open heart surgery with the scalpel of the word under the guiding hand of jesus. We accomplish this through the holy spirit. Gods word is a sharp two edged sword, the word shows us whats inside our heart. Hebrews 4:12 Our heart is the well spring of true success. In the heart is where character id formed. It alone holds the true meaning of success. Its treasures are priceless  but they can be stolen. Ive had to ask myself this question recently. How well are we guarding our heart? Is the condition of my heart my greatest concern? My answer is yes. And it should be because it determines every aspect four lives.  It ultimately determines our love for God and our love for others. It determines who we are and what we do. We must guard our heart from what goes in it.  The heart needs guarding because we don’t naturally look at and think like God does. We are ignorant of his mind and his ways. We all need the wisdom and direction of god to know his ways and to know our heart and its wicked ways. We must guard our heart so we don’t wander from god. Our flesh wants to live independently from god to direct and control our own affairs.  We want to be in charge of our own destiny but only god knows our path. To completely follow his directions means we may be called on to give up something we think we must have in order to be happy or secure.  We need to trust him. The flesh is selfish by nature as a result of the fall. We must guard our heart because it is so deceitful. More deceitful than all else.  Jeremiah 17:9 We can’t trust it because its selfish, self seeking, and self centered.  It also is self protective.  We must rely on God to direct our path regardless of how things appear. We can’t lean on our own understanding, but trust in god. We must stop trying to turn to our own solutions. We can’t understand because it cannot be understood by our wisdom. Only god reveals and lays bare our hearts.

The heart is the well spring of life. We cannot develop those  values and attitudes of the world. It will always lead us astray. The heart is also a fountain, so must be the streams that flow from it- The eyes, the mouth, the feet, our words, our actions. To balance out our character we need to do more than guard our heart.  We also need to give our heart. To resist giving of yourself for fear of getting burned may seem safe, but in the long run its lethal. Giving my heart means risk, becoming vulnerable, entangled. It means having to step out in faith, believing god rather than my own ways.  It means having to give up something…sometimes a lot. It can even mean having your heart broken and wrung out like a towel. But to fail to give our hearts means to lock it up safely in the casket of selfishness. I use to say, ” ill stay behind my wall. Its safe here. It doesn’t hurt. Its not so bad.” But I’ve come to realize recently like a body laid to rest in a casket, our hearts will change, although safe, dark, and motionless it will rot and become a bag of bones.

Giving my heart means accountability, involvement with others and with family. I don’t want my heart in that casket. I am so thankful for the pain I’m going through just to know i can come out from behind my wall and feel, love,  and have compassion for people. Our hearts must be purified by being renewed. By being tested. Also by confession and repentance.

I thank god through hurt. loss, and testing with trials it has brought conviction. With repentance i can change my life. So be encouraged. These trials you are going through, embrace it.  It will give us right thinking, right attitudes, right pursuits, right direction, values and priorities.  Lets get our eyes off people and back on God. Trust him. Do not fret. Trust him. Rest and wait on God and what he is doing. God will bring forth our righteousness. Life is unpredictable. Learn from God.  Learn from your mistakes. Embrace your trials. God is in control. Promises of the bible are matters of trust and Trust is a matter of the heart……..Lets trust. Be blessed and thank you for listening to my heart. We are all in this together so be encouraged. Emilie

 

We’re all precious in his Sight ~

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Have you heard the term “hurt people hurt people”. That phrase has been on my mind and heart today. I am amazed at how diffrent we all are. We’ve all traveled different roads. Been raised in different ways. We react and respond to problems and issues differently. What rejuvinates one person may not work for another. What calms someone may not calm you. We all respond differently to situations. That is what makes us so unique. The longer i live the more i realize all the baggage we tote around. The hurts we’ve experienced in life is what ultimatly molds us and shapes us into who we are. If we can try and see people and the behavior they potray in a new perspective through the eyes of christ we may become aware of the underlying issues each of us face. Whether it be abandonent issues, abuse, not feeling loved, poor communication, lack of empathy, lack of compassion. Whatever it may be that is hurting or has hurt us in the past must be dealt with. Trying to cover hurt, bitterness, old wounds will fester and never heal if we push them down and never allow them to surface. When we open up, healing can begin. We each have our hurts and when we dont heal properly, it will continue to rise its ugly head. We will continue to react instead of respond in a healthy way. Life is so short. Time is precious. Today, if you will search your heart And soul. Find time to evaluate your hurt, deal with it so we dont hurt others. More than likely we lash out at the ones we love the most. We all experience trials. Sometimes the trial are trivial and get in the way of our everyday routine. Other times they create havoc in our lives; and bring chaos and distress. Sometimes they are life stopping; completely altering the way we view life, plan for the future, and even get through the day. Lets be more aware. Be more dedicated to lifting up those who are hurting. There is hope for a healing heart. Psalms 31 will bring comfort to an anguished heart. When you feel like you cant continue on the road you are traveling. Run to god!

Psalms 31 the messAge
I run to you, God; i run for dear life. Dont let me down! Take me seriously this time. Get down on my level and listen, and please -no procrastination. Your granite cave a hiding place, your high cliff a place of saftey. Youre my cave to hide in, my cliff to climb. Be my safe leader, be my mountain guide. Free me from hidden trap; i want to hide in you. Ive put my life in your hands. You wont drop me; youll never let me down. I hate all this silly religion, but you god, i trust! Im leaping and singing in the circle of your love. You saw my pain, you disarmed my tormentors. You didnt leave me in the clutches but gave me room to breathe. Be kind to me God. Im in deep deep trouble again. Ive cried my eyes out; i feel hollow inside. My life leaks away groan by groan; my years fade out in sighs. My troubles have worn me out, turned my bones to powder. To my enemies; im a monster; im ridiculed by my neighbors. My friends are horrified; they cross the street to avoid me. They want to blot me from memory, forget me like a corpse in a grave; discard me like a broken dish in the trash. The street talk gossip has me “crimanally insane”! Behind closed doors they plot to ruin me for good. Desperate i throw myself on you; you are my God! Hour by hour i place my days in your hand, safe from the hands out to get me. Warm me; your servant; with a smile; save me because you love me. Dont embarrass me by not showing up; ive given you plenty of notice. Embarrass the wicked, stand them up, leave them stupidly shaking their heads as they drift down to hell. Gag those loud mouth liars who heckle me, your follower, with jeers and cat calls. What a stack of blessings you have piled up for those who worship you, ready and waiting for all who run to you to escape an unkind world. You hide them safely away from opposition. As you slam the door on those oily, mocking faces, you silence the poisinous gossip. Blessed God!! His love is the wonder of the world. I panicked. ” out of sight, out of mind”, i said. But you heard me say it, you heard and listened! Love god all you saints; god takes care of all who stay close to him, but he pays back in full those arrogant enough to go it alone. Be brave, be strong! Dont give up. Expect god to get here soon!

David,the great pillar of the bible and the Greatest king of israel and a man after gods own heart experienced great hurt and pain, distress and agony. We too have emotions that flood us. Hurt, sadness, grief, anger, anxiety, and fear can paralyze us. We are unable to think clearly, make the right decisions, or take positive steps to change difficult situations. We can interrupt that flood of emotions by holding on to the fact the the lord knows our pain and hears our cries for help!!! As david did, we need to change our focus from our own pain and hurts, to the lords love, protection, and deliverance. When we can’t find the words to describe our hurt and pain, the Lord knows exactly how we feel. Our Lord intercede and prays for us when we can’t find the words. How great is our God! Be encouraged today. Choose to trust in God. He will lead us and guide us. We can rest in him. It’s his delight to help us…talk to him today!!!!☺

We all need one another~

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My heart is very heavy today for my fellow Brothers and sisters in Christ. We are all on this spiritual journey together. My heart breaks when I see people hurt other people. When I see people criticize, judge others, hate others for past mistakes. It has my heart heavy today. The saying “Every pious person has a past, every Sinner has a future.” Is so true. We all have things from our past we aren’t proud of. We are human. We all make mistakes. Not one of us is perfect. I’ve made so many mistakes in my past. I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’ve been forgiven from my mistakes. God doesn’t hold them against me. Why do we feel like we have a right to hold things against one another. Only God knows a person’s heart. We will experience positive growth not by judging others, but by examining ourselves. When we use religion to attack another person, it breaks my heart. Jesus wants us to love. That is the greatest commandment. We will be judged as we judge others, so judge rightly. Don’t be a hypocrite. Everything should be done in love. Love Love love!! What is love: a strong feeling of affection and concern toward another person, as they arise from kinship or close friendship. The origin of love is from God. God is love. Love is one of the primary characteristics of God. Since we are created in his image we are created to love people. A non partial, sacrificial love. We usually put conditions on our love for people. God loves us unconditionally. 1 Corinthians 13:1_13 is what God wants for us. He wants us to love all. He wants us to be patient, kind, truthful, unselfish, trusting, believing, hopeful, and ensuring. It is not jealous, boastful, arrogant, rude, selfish, or angry. True love never ever fails. That fits God’s love towards us. We should be the same with one another. No matter what you think that person did, said, how he lives. We should love all to the best of our ability. The bible says unconditional love is more important than anything else. Everything else will pass away. Only love is eternal. Matthew 22:37 says ” You shall love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The entire law is dependent on these two commands. That is strong!!!!! Only the power of God will allow us to love like that. I call out to him daily to allow me to see people through his eyes. When you see people the way he see us: loving all becomes much easier. Judging less becomes much easier. Just for today let’s practice loving more and judging less. Ask God to allow you to see people through his eyes. You will be amazed at how YOUR perception changes. Remember, we are All on the journey together. We need one another. Let’s join arms and encourage and support; Not beat one another down. Go love!!

“He swept her off her feet”

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Psalms 44:18
Her heart has not turned back, nor have her steps departed from your way.

He swept her off her feet. Im sure you’ve all heard that expression. We often use it when a girl gets emotionally overwhelmed by and infatuated with a man. He gains her immediAte and unquestioning support, approval, acceptance, and love. The phrase “swept of her feet” indicates that there is a strong connection between a womans heart and her feet. A wise woman gives the lord jesus first place in her heart. Her feet follow her heart, so she can make cautious, wise, godly decisions about her relationship

. An unwise woman does not have christ at the center of her affections. Im guilty. Ive been very unwise in my past. Other desires like not wanting to be lonely, to gain approval or security, or to just have fun have taken center stage. My relationship with christ was shoved off to the side somewhere. I have followed the inclinations of my heart and when christ isnt the center of my heart, i made wrong moves in my relationship with men. I allowed my ways to wander and i didnt even realize it. I always knew to check out a mans feet, steps, pAth, and ways. Not literally but metaphorically to describe the way human life is lived in relation to god. Our walk has an overriding inclination of our heart. Our walk shows where our loyalties lie. It reveals whether our heart is obedient to god or moving away from god. Our walk is a prevailing pattern of behaviour. Its a key to determine which wAy we are headed.

How do we think? Talk? What do we talk about? All the small daily decisions we make? All our small steps point toward the direction of our heart. If we keep christ in the center, if he has forever swept us off our feet, we make sure our attitude and conduct are pleasing to him. Our eyes are alwAys toward the lord. Our steps are increasingly following his path. We rely on him to make every footstep secure. If we dont use wisdom we allow our own desires, turn aside from the straight and narrow, go after things we have no right to, and mess around with sin. Sin always leads to death.

Ive been in this situation many times in my past. Ive made poor choices. It causes our spirit to die a slow withering death. Even though my steps wandered i considered myself religious and moved in religious circles. Sang, worshipped, prayed for people. On the surface i did alot of things right. But a closer examination showed my heart wasnt into it. I wanted christ as the forefront of my affections but he wasnt. I wasnt living for  jesus with my whole heart. After my last divorce, i had to ask myself, is christ at the center of my heart? Have i asked him to lead me to a place i never shouldve went. Did i ignore the caution signs? The answer is yes! I ignored his direction.

There is nothing or no one as important  as our relationship with jesus! If you meet someone and their heart isnt sold out to him, thats NOT the person for you! Plain and simple. Dont try to sugar coat it or make excuses. A heart for god should be our number one criteria for a spouse. For those who are single or have been in one bad relationship after another, today lets take a moment to re evaluate our hearts. Above all make sure he or she loves jesus and gives him first place in their hearts. Its one thing to be aquainted with jesus, its another to uphold him as lord of your life. Let our relationship with him dictate how we conduct ourselves in other relationships. We all can talk the talk, but it doesnt mean a thing if we dont wAlk the wAlk! Keep christ at the center!! #preachingtomyself

~Words to live by~

1. You can’t get over something if you keep talking about it! Romans 12:14 Proverbs 17:9
2. Be inventive in hospitality.
3. Bless your enemies.
4. Laugh with your happy friends when they are happy. Share tears when they are down.
5. Get along with one another; don’t be stuck up.
6. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.
7. Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone.
8. Get along with all. Be peaceful.
9. Don’t insist on getting even. That’s not for you to do.
10. God will take care of everything if you hand it over.
11. If your enemy is hungry; go buy him Lunch or if they are thirsty give them a drink.
Your generosity will surprise him with goodness.
12. Don’t let evil get the best of you, get the best of evil by doing good.
13. When you forgive you must cancel the debt.
14. Do not spend your life paying and collecting debt.
15. Forgive quickly.
16. You can’t walk in forgiveness and gossip, let it go.

“He Has Aspergers” and Everything Else I Never Wanted To Hear About My Son

A Buick in the Land of Lexus

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Do you hear that?

Come closer.

That’s the sound of my heart breaking.

My son has always loved the ocean. His eyes are the color of the sea, changing from blue to green with the swell of the tide.  And my love for him is an ocean, an overwhelming force which is sometimes calm and steady, and other times full of conflict.

A mother’s love is like the continuous miracle of the sea. It begins in the ocean of your womb – but there is something unsettling about the way your baby kicks. So fiercely you feel bruised on the inside.

There is something willful and stubborn about his refusal to come out. He arrives weeks late, and even then – after almost 40 hours of labor.

Your baby is overwhelming and mysterious and brutal, like the ocean. He screams uncontrollably for hours a day, every day. And you bring him to…

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