I know you are listening; but do you really HEAR?

How many times have you talked with someone who you thought is listening to you but you realize they are’nt hearing anything you are saying. It is the most frustrating feeling a person can have. We all just want to be heard or at least i do. Communication is a two way process right. There are three essential elements. There is talking, there is listening and there is hearing. I talk a great deal because i have much to say. Alot of us are like that. We talk so much we may miss a point someone else is trying to make. Our talk about past experiences is loaded with perceptions and judgements. When we are listening, what we hear gets filtered through the same. We do talk and we can listen. What challenges most of us is learning to hear. Some people don’t talk until they are mad and they blow up. Then they want to throw up on the person about everything they haven’t done to please them since the last blow up. Bad move! No peron will be receptive in an heated enviroment as this.
If you really want to hear someone or to be heard when they trust you enough to talk with you, don’t listen to the words, hear how they are spoken. All too often; we cannot hear the words because we come to the conversation with our own ideas about who people are. At the same time we are determined not to let them see who we are. In order for effective communication to happen; you must believe that you are safe, and that the other person is safe. An hostile enviroment is not a place where things should be brought to the table; ever!! If you want to communicate with another person, you must hear their fear and not dismiss it. You must hear a person’s pain and not overlook it. It is important to hear a person’s guilt and not buy into it. You must be ready to hear a person’s anger AND NOT FUEL IT! Most people need to know that they have been heard. Listen to their body. Listen to their eyes. Listen to colors they are wearing, the way they touch their hair. Listen to the volume. Listen to the tempo. If you really want to hear someone, open up your heart and listen to their soul.

In the past; you may not have been able to hear what people are saying to you. Try closing your eyes when you are in a conversation. Hear every word spoken through the center of the heart. Outburst of anger never resolve anything; they only cause hurt and pain. They cause bitterness and walls. Let’s open our heart and mind to be aware….when im listening to myself; i can’t hear other people. Be engaged to really HEAR others.

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