Relationships are not easy! They are not easy to find, to get in or to stay in. And sometimes you must answer the question why? Relationships are wonderful healing tools. A relationship can heal you of the fear of being seen for who you are. When you pour the kind of love a relationship requires into the darkness of your own mind, everything comes to light. And that, my dear, is not an easy thing to see!
Relationships are great teaching tools. A relationship makes very clear to you and others those things to which you have a tendency to selfishly cling to. Thoughts, feelings, memories, hurts! A relationship will teach you what you really believe your all is worth. It will point out your need to be self-full, as you pursue your goal to be self defined and self reliant. When you are faced with the decision to hold on to or let go of the relationship, everything the relationship has taught you about yourself must be examined. And believe me that is not an easy examination to make. Relationships are God given. This means they are a blessing! A relationship blesses you with an opportunity to share who you are with someone else who is willing to see the truth of who you are. WOW!! A relationship is a HOME of LOVE, which means it is a place built by God. Unfortunately, it is not an easy task to keep the place clean!
Stay focused and remember there is an healing effect of our relationships. Through the difficult times it teaches things about ourselves we may have never known. Take a look at all your relationships! Are you willing to open your heart and see what God is trying to heal in that place in your heart. Lay down all defenses, expectations, and judgements. Are you willing to give without taking? Grow without overshadowing! Bend without feeling broken and know without a doubt. (this is a tough one for me)
I have learned from past mistakes that it is not loving to expect someone to change because you want them to or because you think they should. Love is consistent. Love allows us to see and hear the best of what we have right now. The love within us grows when we grow. It shifts as we shift. Looking for, listening for, checking for or demanding change is not loving. This goes with any relationship…husband, wife, sister, brother, mom, dad, child, friend, ect….
One of my favorite bible stories is about the man at the pool of Bethesda. The man had been an invalid for 38 years. Once a year the energy of the holy spirit would enter the pool. At that time, anyone who entered the pool would be healed. When Jesus saw the man would not get into the pool, he asked him why. The man responded, “I have no one to help me.” Jesus did not buy it. Jesus asked the man, “Do you want to be healed”?
Some of us have long standing situations in our lives that we fail to address. We make excuses for why we havent done certain things and why we did other things. We make excuses for the unfinished business, incomplete tasks, ongoing drama and the absence of wellbeing in our life. GUILTY!
We move from one situation to the next, leaving a mess behind us, wondering why we are not further along the path.
The truth of the matter for me is when i am afraid, i act in fear. When we are angry, we react to the things that anger us. When we are lazy, we simply dont try. When we are self sabatoging, self defeating, or self defiant, we blame others for our lack of progress. We blame everyone else. (guilty) We use reason and excuses to explain why we still can’t walk. Although we hate to admit it, the only reason we havent been blessed and healed by the holy spirit is because we havent stepped into the pool. Stop making excuses; acknowledge the things that have been left undone, unsaid, and incomplete. That is the first step toward healing relationships!
John 5…The healing at the pool.